Why is there such a big difference between men and women in their achievements and in the process of getting along? This is mainly due to the difference in the way of thinking. Some of this difference is due to physical differences and cannot be changed. Some are affected by the acquired environment, including social concepts, habits, education, and so on.
Specifically, roles and perspectives based on gender differences can be roughly divided into three aspects : physiological roles , evolutionary roles, and social and cultural roles . These three aspects work together to promote the formation of differences in thinking and behavior between men and women.
Three reasons for the difference in thinking and cognition between men and women.
In the field of literature and art, although women occupy a certain proportion, the real big writers and art masters are almost all men. There is a common social phenomenon in which women make clothes in the majority, but most famous tailors are men, and most women are engaged in the food service industry, but most senior chefs are men.
In the emotions of men and women, the society generally supports men in pursuing women, men should have more responsibility and responsibility, women should be more conservative and restrained, women want to guide men to invest more, and men want to go to bed with women early , Have a relationship. Women are more concerned about the material basis of men, men are more concerned about women’s appearance, women are relatively more dedicated, men are more carefree, and so on.
The differences in physiological roles are mainly sexual differences.
In the first seven weeks of pregnancy, the baby’s gender cannot be seen, and they look like girls, but since the eighth week, male babies begin to secrete a large amount of male hormones, turning their bodies into men, so male hormones are between men and women. The most important difference.
Men and women start to show gender differences not long after they are born. Baby girls like to look at people’s faces, while for boys, they look at everything. Women like people at birth, and men like affairs at birth. This difference in behavior is caused by the different concentrations of male hormone index in the body of men and women. And male hormones are decisive for a person’s future.
Male hormone, this hormone is secreted by both men and women, but men secrete more than women, and men secrete more hormones when engaging in competitive behaviors. This hormone is a powerful mental power and a catalyst for the release of physical potential. The important reason why in the long history of human civilization, men have occupied the top for a long time, and even suppressed women.
The role of evolution is based on the preservation and inheritance of sexual characteristics under the needs of survival, and its content includes cognitive differences, emotions, and differences in willpower.
A. Cognitive differences between men and women:
We generally believe that cognition includes perception, memory, imagination, language and thinking. There are differences between men and women in all aspects of personality cognition.
The perspective of male and female perceptions:
First of all, from the perspective of male and female perceptions, men and womens have different senses. Males have developed vision and focus on appearance, while women have developed hearing and focus on speech. Therefore, some people think that men are visual animals and women are hearing animals. There are universal differences in vision and hearing.
For example, in the process of choosing a spouse, the first thing that a man pays attention to is whether the other person’s looks are beautiful or not. At least it should be in line with his own aesthetic style.
Women don’t have too many requirements for men’s looks. On the contrary, some women equate good looks with fancy, thinking that handsome men are often unreliable.
The answer can be known from the division of labor between men and women in ancient times. Men support their families by hunting. They must pay attention to the food along the way, the prey along the way, and the dynamics that occur. They must also shoot accurately to buy and return. , Need keen eyesight.
Women are responsible for raising children alone, and they must be cautious in their homes. Prevent sneak attacks by wild animals, sudden natural disasters, etc. So the ears must be quick.
The memory point of view:
Secondly, from the memory point of view , there are differences between men and women in memory, content, speed and depth. Men’s spatial memory and imagination are stronger than women, and women’s linguistic memory and imagination are stronger than men.
For example, in an unfamiliar environment, women are easy to get lost, but men can find directions through maps or the surrounding environment. When women are talking, they can talk to many individuals in an orderly manner. But not.
In the process of natural selection and because of the need for survival, men play the role of dealing with the outside world, guarding the way of hunting, the movement of prey, and environmental considerations have become the focus of men’s attention.
Women living in groups play the role of caring for young children. In addition to communicating with young children, they also have to communicate with peer groups. Over time, men’s spatial skills and women’s language skills will develop to varying degrees.
In terms of thinking:
In terms of thinking, women’s thinking tends to stay on the surface, while the male’s thinking remains at the crux of the problem. Therefore, some people say that women are emotional animals and men are rational animals.
For example, in the process of dealing with various things, women often have a lot of clues and can’t find a direction. Men tend to be stable, think positively, and find solutions to problems.
In ancient times, because women were responsible for reproduction and raising offspring, while men were the providers of material information and security. Relatively speaking, men and women had different centers of life. Men must continue to strengthen themselves and improve their understanding to protect themselves. The role of the person.
Women are only a natural maternal role. When encountering a problem, men must not be chaotic, and grasp the core and respond in time. The image of females who are inherently weak often stays on the basis of perception and perceptual cognition of things, so that they can only be protected objects.
B. The difference in mood and emotion between men and women:
Now a days:
Men’s and women’s emotions and emotional expressions are different. Today, women’s emotions are displayed on the outside, and men’s emotions are hidden inside. Women are good at expressing emotions, and men are good at concealing themselves.
Emotions and emotional expressions are mainly reflected in facial expressions. For example, some wives often chat with their husbands happily, and their husbands do not have much emotional reaction, so they complain about their husbands and don’t listen to their speech. This is not the case. Men will not listen carefully There are too many external manifestations.
In ancient human life:
Men were capturing prey and protecting women and young children. You need to have a more rational mind than women. If you show confusion at this time, not only will it not be conducive to the resolution of the matter, but it will make the caregiver even more confused.
Therefore, after a long period of evolution, the brain regions that are responsible for male emotions no longer react strongly. To this day, women’s emotional areas are still very active, much more active than men, so their emotional expressions are quite rich, facial expressions, physical expressions , The expression of language expressions is better than that of men.
In the basic state of emotions:
Such as mood, passion, and stress, there are different degrees of difference between men and women. Men prefer a stable mood, while women like freshness.
This is due to the risky work of men in ancient times, so it is easier to choose quietness. While women tend to raise young children for a long time, they prefer a sense of freshness in a peaceful life. Men are prone to a passionate state, while women are the opposite.
Because men fight with beasts, they must have a state of passion in order to explode to a stronger potential. Women face dangerous things less frequently than men, and they are not as passionate as men.
Men’s stress tends to be positive and problem-solving is the main focus, while women’s stress tends to be negative. This is all gradually formed in the long-term struggle against nature, the reproduction of offspring, the association with peers, and the division of labor hours.
C. Differences in will between men and women:
Now a days:
Men and women have different wills in all aspects of life. In the trivial matters of life, the gender division of work and the performance of willpower to survive, women show more tenacious willpower than men.
For example, in an earthquake, if people are rescued at the same time, the survival rate of women is often higher than that of men. Women have a stronger desire for survival, so some people think that women are individuals with weak appearance and strong hearts.
In the long process of human evolution:
Women are responsible for reproduction and nurturing. During the ten-month pregnancy period, when the male is not around, the female must be strong alone and take on the role of protecting herself and the fetus, so the female is more resistant than the male.
In addition, women may encounter environmental changes, beast attacks, pain during childbirth, and even death threats during the process of giving birth. However, being a mother is the joy of being a mother, and their inherent instincts encourage them to bravely accept and face it calmly.
After the baby is born, women also have to take care of and nurture the baby. The weakness of the baby makes women stronger in their hearts, thus creating a greater desire to survive for the child.
In the process of evolution, men have been dealing with nature, fighting against the forces of nature, knowing the power of nature and the insignificance of human beings. On the contrary, there is no strong willpower for women.
Difference w.r.t to social roles:
The differences in the social roles of the two sexes are based on physiological differences, supplemented by the evolutionary differences in dimorphism. Under the combined action of the different social and physiological roles and evolutionary roles of the two sexes, the differences in thinking between the sexes are further amplified.
To give a very simple example, in some relatively backward cultures, women’s literacy level or educational needs will be underestimated, resulting in women’s literacy level being much lower than that of men. Therefore, the difference in cultural levels between the sexes is very obvious, which will cause men and women to view problems. The angle of dealing with the problem is obviously different.
For example, Amir Khan’s movie, Wrestling, Dad, reflects the Indian society’s patriarchal notion, leading to difficulties and obstacles for girls on the road to self-realization.
Difference due to cultures:
Regarding the attitude towards children, women tend to show stronger concentration and feelings than men. This is affected by the two factors of physiological characteristics, evolution and culture.
Physiologically, affected by hormone levels, women are more suitable to deal with activities other than aggression.
In the primitive tribes before the birth of modern civilization. Men were often responsible for hunting activities because of their physical advantages. While women were responsible for taking care of and raising offspring, as well as sorting and collecting. In the modern culture of marriage of both sexes, women often also assume the main responsibility of caring for children.
Traditional cultural influence:
In addition to the physical differences between men and women, there is also a traditional cultural influence. Especially in China, because of the constraints of thousands of years of thinking that men are superior to women, women dare not think about and do many things that men do.
The social lifestyle:
In addition, in the social lifestyle, there are also problems that limit the way women think. The first is that women generally have a lower social status than men. Most of the initiative in social life is controlled by men, so that many women lose the initiative in social life. If women do not rely on or depend on men, they will live in society. very difficult.
Gender discrimination in social concepts:
The second is the gender discrimination in social concepts , which severely restricts the development of women’s ways of thinking. In society, the notion that women are inferior to men is very popular and deeply rooted. Especially after women get married, their social status will be even lower.
Many women lose their touch with society after they get married. If you marry a husband with a low social status, she must focus on her family life. If you marry a husband with a high social status, she will almost become an accessory to her husband, and everything must revolve around The husband’s social life needs to act.
Many organizations have gender requirements when recruiting personnel. Among the gender requirements, except for a few that are actually required for work, most of them are concerned about women’s family drag after marriage and affecting their work. In this way, the way of thinking of women is severely restricted by social life.
With the progress and development of society, the concept of equality between men and women has gradually taken root in the hearts of the people, and some social abuses have gradually faded out of people’s vision. However, there are still many problems that plague modern women, especially in terms of emotions.
There is a phenomenon that you can see, our customer base for emotional counseling is mostly female? In other words, women are much more likely to have emotional problems than men.
There is often such a phenomenon in our emotions. Girls are mostly anxious, and boys are mostly avoiding. Why is that? For example, when lovers quarrel, girls always have to grasp the theory of boys. But boys tend to ignore them with an evasive attitude.
There are some common examples. For example, in the early days of love, boys chase girls instead of girls chasing boys. Girls need to guide men to continuously invest to fall in love with themselves. Women attract men’s attention by making trouble. Female breaking up is often a false breakup, while men breaking up are often true.
This is based on the emotional problems caused by the differences between men and women. What is right and wrong, causal logic, and how to solve them, we will analyze in detail in the next class.